Checkup

A checkup isn’t complete without an iPad.

And a visit with the rabbits.

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And a little talk about death (not pictured) between the hospital staff and me (the mom).   I sometimes wish that the choice for listing Zayne for a transplant would be easy.  If she was sicker, I wouldn’t have questions.  It is difficult when Zayne is so happy and seems “healthy”.  I have to remind myself that it isn’t normal when she usually can’t walk from the car into her school.  It isn’t normal that the stairs in our home are an obstacle (she often asks why we have stairs in the house).  It isn’t normal that she is gasping for breath after putting on her pants.  Then there are times when she can put on her pants, walk into the school, or run a short distance and proclaim that she doesn’t need a transplant.

Lung disease is a concern and her pulmonary pressures are already high enough to make a transplant more complicated.  Maybe, I have waited too long to list her.  Maybe the name of this blog post should be “A Mother’s Rambling Self Doubts”